Rants and Raves

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Sunday, December 07, 2008

An indelicate question...

Looking over a previous post, 'A bad time for lovers,' I was reminded of a question a late friend of mine asked many years ago, "Why is it that the best lays are usually disasters as human beings?"

He was male, and a wounded veteran of the gender wars. I have no idea if the question ever occurs to women, although perhaps it's the male equivalent of, "Why are women attracted to bad boys?"

I thought about it for a few days, and came up with a possible explanation:

The way you get good at sex, is the same way you get good at anything. You practice.

(Perhaps with the aid of any number of the how-to books available.)

There are two ways you can practice. You can find a willing partner, and practice a lot together.

Or, if you can, practice with a lot of different partners. This is obviously easier for women.

Observation: People capable of forming stable, long-term relationships - do.

Corollary: Most of the people capable of forming stable, long-term relationships are going to be in one at any given time.

So... the people you are most likely to meet who are great in bed, are most likely to come from that subset of the category of "great lays" who are not capable of forming stable, long-term relationships, i.e. "disasters as human beings."

I thought this was one of the cleverest short arguments I'd ever come up with - and most depressing.

My friend couldn't find any holes in it either.

And by the way, he died very lonely.


  • At 6:12 PM, Blogger bgeek said…

    Sorry about your friend. I hope I don't die without finding any holes.

  • At 4:11 AM, Blogger Ted said…

    Amazing how people build such a counterfeit "sacred" mystique around a simple biological function.
    That's not the only erroneous zone in the sexual realm, but it seems to comprise the largest; others would include but not be limited to the access-implies-ownership/granted-access-implies-ownership and get-in-your-pants-to-get-in-your-wallet.
    Most of these have their origin in spiritualism of one form or another. The fairly recent intrusion of feminSTAAZIism into the picture has aided little.

  • At 5:09 AM, Blogger Steve Browne said…

    Biological function it is - but there ain't nothing simple about it.

  • At 3:28 PM, Blogger Joseph Sixpack said…

    "And by the way, he died very lonely."

    Was he seeking out the "best lays" and hoping that one of them would not be a disaster as a human being?

  • At 2:04 PM, Blogger Steve Browne said…

    That and the fact that he wouldn't make the slightest effort to improve his situation.

    He was 300-plus pounds, and had a taste for petite women. He complained often about how lonely he was, and wouldn't take the first step to 1) lose weight, 2) clean his house up,, or 3) get out of the social group he was having such rotten luck in and find another.

    He confided to me once that his doctor had warned him his not-so-long-term prognosis was not good if he didn't change his ways.

    He said, "I'm killing myself by inches and I don't care."

    I replied, "Killing yourself by inches is cowardly and chickenshit. Decide if you want to live or die. If you want to die, eat the .38. If you want to live - it strikes me that the decision to live and be happy is a comparatively small choice next to - live or die."

    I'd like to say this shock therapy had an effect on him.

    It didn't. He continued to kill himself by inches until he ran out of inches.


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